1) Your romantic/family holidays just happen to be in close proximity to the nearest crag

2) You will be encouraged to learn to climb just long enough so you can belay

3) If you want to spend a weekend doing something not linked to climbing you are being unreasonable

4) If they climb really well you are expected to spoil them for being a hero

5) If they climb badly, it is your fault in some way

6) If they get injured you are expected to look after them

7) If you date a female climber (even an ugly one) male climbers are likely to try and chat her up

If you date a male climber (even an ugly one) women who don’t climb are at the very least likely to find him quite appealing

9)  Couples at crags usually argue

10) Climbers have very rough hands…

Today I’m going to talk about the most important aspect of life that so many people appear to be lacking in, which is HOW TO COMMUNICATE!!!

Communication is crucial to act and react in society and without it we’re screwed! You may think that considering we communicate constantly thanks to the likes of Facebook, Twitter and the myriad of other social networking applications that we would be experts, however, I would argue that when it comes to more serious issues many people communicate as well as a rather dim amoeba!

Now it isn’t that we don’t have the ability to communicate but I don’t think we think about the consequences of ineffective communication. To highlight this point a friend of mine told me how he was working a climb called Snap Decision an E7 6c at Ilkley on a bottom rope (for none climbers this is a very difficult climb and a rope was secured at the top so it would catch him if he fell). He got to the top and sat back expecting the belayer (person holding the rope at the bottom) to lower him down only to wake up 10 minutes later having fell 60 feet to the deck! The belayer had expected him to untie and walk down off the top so had unclipped his belay device (equipment that helps to control the speed of the rope via a friction device). Luckily he wasn’t badly injured, although, he was very lucky – This, I think, highlights the reason for effective communication and the reason why clarity can be vital!

On a more down to earth point it really pisses me off when people don’t do the things they say they’re going to do or you email someone asking for important information and they don’t acknowledge you. When I’ve confronted people (in a more tactful way than this blog may suggest!) they always say “I’ve got so much on” or “my inbox is swamped and I don’t have time to get through them all…” To me this suggests that they lack organisational skills or they are not coping with their work load efficiently.

Although you may be struggling with the demands of your work there are consequences of communicating ineffectively. For example have you thought about how you feel when someone says they’ll call and don’t compared to when they do call and at the time they said they would? A lack of clear communication can negatively affect the person who you haven’t contacted and as a result can damage personal and business relationships mainly because it gives the impression that to you the other person is not that important.

When you do communicate there are other pitfalls, take relationships as an example. There are thousands of books written on relationships and how to communicate and there about as many “motivational” type trainers and speakers making millions from this area. It is vital that you think about how your actions affect others and if the other person appears to be acting negatively try to think before acting rashly, what are the reasons for their behaviour? If they are being objectionable is it because they disagree with something you said, the way you said it or that they have just had a bollocking from their boss or had a row with a loved one?

As can be seen from my friends experience communication in climbing is crucial and communicating poorly can result in injury or death. When undergoing a training course in climbing people are taught clear ‘calls’ which both parties know to make it clear what’s going on at a given time. If only it was as simple in other areas of life!

To finish I’ve noted down a few points about how to improve communication – give them a try and see if anything changes between you and other people both at home, play and at work.

• If you’ve arranged to meet or call someone at a given day/time make sure you do it.
• If you have to make changes to the above give the other person as much notice as possible.
• Write your appointments down in a diary/phone/computer (somewhere which you look at regularly).
• If you do miss an appointment acknowledge your error and apologise!
• Think about how your actions affect other people
• If someone appears to be negative towards you take a breath and a few moments to think why? Is it the situation, what you’ve said or how you’ve said it – are there other options such as rephrasing your point of view?
• Make sure what you say is clear and the other person/people have understood what you have said.
• If you are unclear about what another person has said don’t be afraid to ask for clarification.

 Hope this post has been useful and as always please get in touch, leave feedback and if you’d like more information let me know.

Thanks

Craig

I must admit that if this blog appears familiar its because I wrote it earlier in the year before my site got hacked! As I’m about to launch some workshops next months about the psychology of climbing I thought you might like a recap!

OK, so you have a fear of falling, which is a problem when your sport involves falling sometimes, especially to improve! Look at any blog on the interweb and there are usually two trains of thought on how to get over this fear:

1) ‘Man up’ and take a screamer (known as flooding)

2) Lots of fall practice starting gradually taking short falls and over a period of time building up to larger falls (graded exposure).

To be honest both can work but the usual (and probably the best) option for most people is option 2. However, what happens when you’ve tried fall practice and nothing seems to be changing or you get worse? Have you got to a point on the wall where the fear takes over and no amount of rationalisation or persuasion from climbing partners has any effect?

It could be worth seeking advice from a climbing coach with knowledge and experience of working with climbers with this fear or perhaps an NLP/Hypnotherapy Practitioner or Sports Psychologist with knowledge of climbing. Before you turn off at this point hear me out! Hypnotherapy, for example, isn’t it really about making you dance like a chicken… In a therapeutic rather than entertainment context a good Clinical Hypnotherapist can help you to identify potential root causes of your fear and can work with you by changing negative unwanted behaviour and ways of thinking to ones which are more useful to you.

On a practical front if you want to try things for yourself I would suggest the following:

•  Think about what you enjoy about climbing and why it’s important to you (remember this when you ever get really frustrated!)
• Relax before you climb, take a few deep breaths and get into a focused state, take time to look at the climb and imagine climbing it – where’s the crux, how will you position yourself?
• Start the climb positively – try to increase your focus, each time you climb how focused were you out of 10 (with 0 being no focus to 10 totally focused). Try to increase this number each time (if you’re focused you’re less likely to be scared!).
• Be aware of your behaviour, thinking (+ or -), physiological reactions (increased heart rate and respiration, sweaty palms, Elvis Legs), emotional response (fear, panic).
• Try thinking positively (I can do this!), relax your body, where possible, and take controlled breaths – even during a climb. If you feel panic and fear increasing try to use key words “relax”, “focus” or “STOP!” etc.
• Think about what it means to you to get over your fear. What happens after your fear is reduced? Fear is likely to have stopped you from taking risks and pushing your grades so will you feel pressure to achieve new goals? What happens if you don’t achieve these goals?
• Set goals for now and the future, where do you want to go with your climbing and how do you plan to get there?

Try my above ‘top tips’ and please let me know how you get on. If you still feel that you’d like additional help I can provide 1:1 coaching (face to face, phone or email) or I run workshops from time to time (see my news section for updates).

Enjoy!

Craig

The title made far more sense when we used to buy chalk powder in blocks rather than little muslin bags but you get the idea!

Yesterday I had an evening at Scugdale up in the North Yorkshire Moors, which despite being 20 miles away is my closest and favourite crag. On the face of it things didn’t go incredibly well it was midgetastic, humid and  I wasn’t climbing particularly well.  I backed off three climbs during the session BUT looking at my session objectively it was a total success!

I spent yesterday at the seaside in Whitby with my family and despite not doing much, except eating very expensive fish and chips and sitting on the beach, when I got home I was knackered! It was 5pm, the sun was shining and as the forecast is bad for the next few days I started to think that I should drag my lazy arse off the sofa and go climb… By 6.15pm I finally got my kit together and drove to the crag. I had a lovely drive over and then walked up the steep but short path up to the crag, where despite being midged to death quickly got my boots and chalk bag on and got going.

I warmed up on a V.S which I abandoned as I didn’t feel comfortable and found an easier way to the top. Then the session was a mixture of soloing easy climbs I hadn’t done and V.S’s I had. Despite backing off a few of the higher V.S’s I enjoyed the constant movement and focus that soloing brings and I guess despite the mixed success probably did about seven climbs in just over an hour, non all that classic but mostly enjoyable. The midges finally got too much so beat a hasty retreat and drove back along the tiny country lane towards a fantastic sunset that you could only see from an elevated position.

The main positive points for yesterday’s session are as follows: I got off my arse, I didn’t give up despite the midgey and humid conditions,  I did some climbs I haven’t done before, I listened to my inner voice high up on a few routes and made an objective decision to back off a few times. I also enjoyed the lovely surroundings and talked to some nice people and returned to my car in one piece – So I figure that constitutes as a success!

How often do we go climbing only for it not to go as planned? It isn’t uncommon to get frustrated with our progression (or lack of), and the consequence can be reduced confidence and worse a reduction of activity. Gaining objective feedback not just from others but from ourselves can be vital in maintaining and increasing motivation. After each session it might be worth thinking about what you learned, what you struggled with and what you did well this can then help you identify areas you need to build on. Just think that every time you get to the crag and climb we’ve achieved a goal, everything else is an added bonus!